yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
