So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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