Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize