Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
