just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
