I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
