he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize