Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.

Fav 11 901 1302
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(406): View more from Montana

Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass

Fav 20 2443 1617
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(509): View more from Washington

Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.

Fav 13 5941 1422
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(224): View more from Illinois

I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.

Fav 12 7481 1405
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(847): View more from Illinois

He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.

Fav 119 41647 2327
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(630): View more from Illinois

Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.

Fav 20 1479 5867
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(303): View more from Colorado

Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.

Fav 7 1826 4141
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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.

Fav 6 1494 619
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(912): View more from Georgia

I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.

Fav 0 38 8
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