i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
