you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
