Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Randomize
