11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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