that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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