My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
