I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize