OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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