last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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