You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
