just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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