Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
