is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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