I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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