Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
