I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
im holly from the hills drunk
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
