feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
We were destined to go to rehab together
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
