I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
