I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
True strength comes from lack of pants
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