Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
being pregnant is like rehab
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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