That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My cat gives me a boner
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
