So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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