ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
