i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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