so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
