i think my tv is drunk
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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