I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
