Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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