So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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