is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
