Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
