I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
That accounts for only three of the penises
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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