Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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