We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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