I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
