I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
