the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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