I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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