it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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