Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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