Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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