Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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