I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
