If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
