is this the sara with the beer cane?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I would fuck him just for his dog
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
