grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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