Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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