she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
