when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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