I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
