It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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