WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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