just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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