it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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