I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
