oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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