You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
