he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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