scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
