Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
