That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
