Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
