I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
