I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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