the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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